| right now i am really sad and mad and screwed up cause i had this huge fight with my mom last night about managing my time. i know i do have a lot going on right now, and that's fine with me cause i absolutely love having a busy schedule...i think it makes me feel useful in this world or some shit like that... so...i'm in this musical, beauty and the beast at saint louis, and if you don't know, musicals take up tons of time. a rough estimation shows that for every minute of showtime in front of an audience, the cast and crew needs two hours to rehearse it. two hours for one minute! that's crazy...i just opened this weekend, so i've been busy with rehearsals and shows this weekend, and it's gonna be like that for the next two weeks... i also have school, which i normally keep under control, except recently i've been getting behind in my work, especially english cause i don't spend a lot of time at home by a computer... i have a job which is also performing. i go to various middle schools and teach them about the danger of smoking tobacco. i also go to various high schools and tech them about teen pregnancy and std's. because i perform and middle schools and high schools, i need to take time from my school schedule to work, which is what i did this morning. i also have to go to various trainings every so often so i can be educated about the stuff i educate people about. i really love performing--it's my passion--and i've seriously thought of dropping out of school and just performing for the rest of my life. but, i know that unreasonable...well, i'm supposed to go to this tobacco training for six hours on saturday, but i can't cause my mom said so. only, i think i can, cause i have nothing going on during that time and i won't have to laze around the house all day. but, my mom thinks it's too much cause i had a three hour rehearsal last night, a three hour rehearsal tonight, a show earlier today (which takes three hours counting set-up and break-down), and another show on thurdsday. so, she thinks i shouldn't go to the training on saturday cause it's too much. ...only, i came late to the rehearsal last night, the show today, and i'm coming late for the show on thursday cause i have school or beauty and the beast. so, i haven't even been working full time. and now i want to quit. as much as i love this job, i just wanna quit cause i hate not being able to do something i love. it just kills me cause i'm physically capable of doing it, but she thinks it's too much. only, ow does she know what's too much for me, she just thinks she knows what's too much for me. but she really doesn't so, now i have to quit this job, which i've been pulling off for over a year, and i love it so much...and in 45 minutes i have another rehearsal, and i'm gonna tell my boss i'm planning on quitting. i'll commonplace after to let you know what's going on. bye for now...em...♥ |
Monday, March 5, 2007
i hate this
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4 comments:
wow that seems pretty intense, maybe you should try talking more to your mom. My mom is the same way, she is always telling me that i am doing too much. Whenever she starts going into one of her "your doing too much" rants, i can always talk her down. I don't know, it may be different with your family.
woooooww. you havinig a seriously busy schedule. How do you manage everything? I think that I would be dead by the first day. Anyway, I understand why your so frustrated with your mom about what she thinks is best and what you think is best. It's a really complicated process yeah? I get mad all the time at my mom because she's christian and always wants me to "do the right thing." Sometimes I feel like I'm living in the bubble and can't get out. I hate that but at the same time I know that she's doing it because she wants my best interest and wants to protect me. However, even though she's doing her job, we both are not kids anymore and should be able to make our own decisions right? I don't know. It's really confusing and probably a good essential question. HOW SHOULD YOU LIVE LIFE: obeying your parents, or doing what you think is right? tricky tricky.
woooooww. you havinig a seriously busy schedule. How do you manage everything? I think that I would be dead by the first day. Anyway, I understand why your so frustrated with your mom about what she thinks is best and what you think is best. It's a really complicated process yeah? I get mad all the time at my mom because she's christian and always wants me to "do the right thing." Sometimes I feel like I'm living in the bubble and can't get out. I hate that but at the same time I know that she's doing it because she wants my best interest and wants to protect me. However, even though she's doing her job, we both are not kids anymore and should be able to make our own decisions right? I don't know. It's really confusing and probably a good essential question. HOW SHOULD YOU LIVE LIFE: obeying your parents, or doing what you think is right? tricky tricky.
omg! u can swear on this thing? ok, that wuz a joke, im realli not that weird. or if i am, it is all thanx to u. but plz feel better! i am in ICP now... i can counsel you.
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